Homecoming

On a scale of 1 - 10, with 10 being the highest, yesterday was an 10!!

When Love Takes You Home

Katya is coming home on Saturday

Fred, Katie and I had a three hour visit with Katya on Sunday. We took her out to dinner and for ice cream. It was wonderful to see her and she seemed genuinely glad to see us! She was thrilled and relieved when we told her she was coming home, and then talked of nothing else for the rest of our visit. She understands things will be different and accepted that fact without argument. Her behavior analyst is coming to the house this week to give us guidelines, advice and encouragement!

Dr. Federici will give us the results of her tests later this week and we are anxious to get the full report. The more information we have, the better equipped we are to help Katya.

I'll post when we get the test results.

Encouraging news!

Today was appointment day! The doctor gave Katya a series of psychological tests and also conducted an in depth interview to learn more about her life prior to being in our family. Dr. Federici speaks fluent Russian so Katya was a little more relaxed and able to speak freely during the interview. Thankfully, with much hard work and intensive counseling, Dr. Federici sees a positive outcome for Katya. This is great news. During our last appointment he was preparing us for the worst. He told us today that he had a post-institutionalized child in his office last week and all he wanted to do was call an exorcist! We will see the full results of the tests early next week but he was pleased with what he learned so far. A few positives are:
*Katya has a normal to above normal IQ. (This makes therapy SO much easier)
*She does NOT want to go back to Russia
*She is on grade level academically (in Russian) which means she will catch up faster
*She does not like where she is now and does not want to go back (which will be helpful in her behavior modifications)
Dr. Federici referred us to a behavior analyst that he has trained to work with Eastern Bloc children. She will design an intervention plan for Katya's return. Her website is:www.alternativebehaviors.com and her name is Nadya Molina. I took it as a positive sign that he decided not to be Katya's primary mental health provider. Nadya will come to our home and help us map out a plan for Katya, however we will still be following Dr. Federici's basic outline of attachment therapy which is broken down into three levels. We will enter into Level One when she comes home and it will last anywhere from four to six weeks. Katya's five major rules are:
1. You must remain within three feet of a parent at all times.
2. You will have no contact with anyone besides your parents, Katie and Steven.
3. Your parents decide what you are required to do each day.
4. There will be no TV, radio or any other distractions.
5. You must be successful at level one before you begin level two.
I asked Dr. Federici about medication, and he said she may benefit from Wellbutin but that will be determined later. (I should have asked him about medication for ME to get through Level One!)
Katya will be coming home on June 21st. We had to delay her homecoming because Fred has a business trip all next week and the doctor said he should be home the first few weeks after her return.
We were told to remove everything from her room except her bed and a lamp. It hastens "people" attachment NOT to have material things in which to attach. This will be an exhaustive and intense four to six weeks but it's what we have to do.
We hope to visit Katya before she comes home and are awaiting a call from the facility's director about a possible visit this weekend.


From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia:
Attachment therapy is the term most commonly used by practitioners and critics for a controversial category of alternative child mental health interventions intended to treat what practitioners describe as attachment disorders. The term generally includes accompanying parenting techniques which proponents consider as important as the therapy itself. Attachment therapy is a treatment used primarily with fostered or adopted children who are believed to have certain behavioral difficulties, including disobedience and lack of gratitude or affection for their caregivers. The children's problems are ascribed to an inability to attach to their new parents because of suppressed rage due to past maltreatment and abandonment.

We should have answers soon

I'm sorry I haven't posted lately but there hasn't been much news. Fred and I did get to talk to Katya on Sunday evening and she sounded good. We take her for her testing tomorrow so we will see her for the first time since May 29th. We won't get to spend much time together because we are only transporting her to and from the appointment but at least we'll get to give her a hug! Hopefully Dr. Federici will provide some answers soon after the testing so we can begin the healing process.

When I get really down I watch Randy Pausch's "Last Lecture" on the computer to make me feel better. I need some positive influences now versus the doctor's many doom and gloom scenarios. Isn't it weird that I turn to a dying man to cheer me up...
One of my favorite parts of the lecture is when Randy says, "When we are facing death it's not the things we do in life that we regret, but the things we don't do." I want to do everything in our reach to help Katya and try to undo what horrors were done to her as a child. I am realistic and know that we cannot wipe out all the bad memories but at least we can give her the emotional strength and unconditional love to heal. Fred and I both know it will be a long and painful journey but we are determined.

What great friends we have

Fred and I are so blessed with wonderful and supportive friends. We could not have made it this far without the kind and encouraging words and actions of our dear friends. We truly appreciate the phone calls, flowers, emails and cards that have flooded our mailboxes. Your kindness is keeping us afloat! How lucky we are to have such a fantastic circle of support!! From the depths of our hearts...THANK YOU.

Update

Fred and I picked Katya up at the center and took her to Dr. Federici's office on Thursday. Katya was very talkative and peppy on the drive over, but her mood quickly changed once she met with the doctor. She told him some pretty disturbing things, most of which I don't want to get into now. By the time we left she was pretty agitated and the drive back to the center was silent. Dr. Federici told us we probably have two years of intense therapy ahead of us, along with radical changes at home, such as living by a highly structured, unbending schedule including not being more than three feet away from Fred or me for the forseeable future. We are putting our faith in this doctor because frankly, we have no other choice. We must heal Katya.