What we know for sure

Sadly, Katya did not benefit from adequate parenting during her early years. Her foundation for healthy development was non-existent, making it difficult if not impossible for her to form loving, lasting, intimate relationships. This condition, known as attachment disorder, was triggered by abuse, neglect, abandonment, separation from birth parents and frequent moves from grandparents homes to several orphanages. Children with attachment disorder are less responsive to direction, less eager to please and more aggressive. These children are at increased risk for serious psychological problems in adolescence and adulthood. Fred and I are praying that proper diagnosis and treatment will help change Katya's life.

To explain further, attachment disorder is developed when children do not form a trusting bond in infancy and early childhood. A lack of trust generates feelings of aloneness, being different, pervasive anger and an inordinate need for control. Pervasive anger and the need for control are Katya's two biggest behavioral issues. A trusting bond is essential in continued personality and conscience development and serves as the foundation for future intimate relationships.

Dr. Terry Levy wrote in his book, Attachment, Trauma, and Healing: "Most professionals who work with and study the process of bonding and attachment agree that a child's first eighteen to thirty-six months are critical. It is during this period that the infant is exposed in a healthy situation to love, nurturing, and life-sustaining care. The child learns that if she has a need, someone will gratify that need, and the gratification leads to the development of her trust in others."

Fred and I may never know the full extent of what Katya suffered through in Russia, but we do know that we will do everything in our power to try to make the rest of her life happy, secure and full of joy.