Missed Opportunities

It makes me so sad to think I was looking into the eyes of my future daughter and I didn't even know it! It makes me sad that I have missed twelve birthdays, twelve Christmases, and many opportunities to dry tears and provide a shoulder and countless hugs and kisses. I know there is nothing I can do about the past, but I still mourn the missed opportunities. Fred, Katie, Steven and I will spend the rest of our lives trying to provide the experiences that Katya has missed, and we will try to make her future so bright that maybe the memories of her lonely years will dim over time. What does bring me great comfort is that Katya has been loved at Podolsk, and her best interests have been Svetlana's priority. I often think of one of my favorite poems when I see the children in orphanages happily singing and performing for us visitors. It is "Sympathy" by Paul Lawrence Dunbar. Here is a verse:

I know why the caged bird sings, ah me, 
When his wing is bruised and his bosom sore, 
When he beats his bars and he would be free; 
It is not a carol of joy or glee, 
But a prayer that he sends from his heart's deep core,
but a plea, that upward to Heaven he flings
I know why the caged bird sings!

Photo: Katya in 2004