A future full of hope!

There is much curiosity about Katya's past and the circumstances that lead her to Podolsk Orphanage.

Katya was born in Podolsk, Russia in 1995 to an unmarried 21-year-old woman. Katya’s mother died when she was 13 months old, leaving her in the care of her grandmother in Belarus. In 1999, Katya’s grandmother died, leaving her an orphan because there were no other relatives. Because Katya was born in Podolsk, she became a ward of the city, so she was sent to live at the orphanage in 2000.

The courts know the identity of Katya’s biological father, but there are three contributing factors that determine why he cannot claim guardianship. First, he was never married to Katya’s mother. Second, he is a convicted felon and third, the potential for guardianship is legally impossible because the authorities classified her as a true orphan to ensure he will never attempt to claim custody. Once Katya leaves Russia, the records are sealed and he will not be able to locate her nor will he be given any information pertaining to her whereabouts.

As far as Fred and I are concerned, we would prefer not to dwell on her past, but on her bright and happy future with us! Some say life begins at 40, but for Katya we think life begins at 12!

Why Oregon?

After posting on Friday's blog that our adoption agency is located in Oregon, I received several emails asking why we chose an agency on the west coast, especially since we have so many reputable agencies within a 50-mile radius of Annandale. The answer is simple - not all adoption agencies work in the Moscow region of Russia. For instance, the Datz Foundation, an outstanding adoption agency about 4 miles from my home facilitates adoptions in Russia, but not in the Moscow region! The requirements differ greatly from one region to the next, so it would be difficult for an agency to work in the entire country. Agencies in the United States must have satellite offices in the regions they represent, consisting of an attorney, admin support, interpreters and translators. From everything I’ve read, the Moscow region has more requirements and stricter medical guidelines to follow, so I’m grateful Dove Adoptions knows the specific requirements for the Moscow region and makes sure we have all of the necessary paperwork completed and completed correctly! In a future blog I’ll tell you about our final medical requirement of EIGHT doctor visits!

How I got involved in Russian Orphanages

Photo:
The birthplace of a dream - on the roof of the Owens Family home in Clintwood, Virginia. Randy is on the ladder wearing the baseball cap.

In the summer of 2001, I was fortunate enough to be partnered with a wonderful man, Randy Jones, while participating in the Appalachia Service Project (ASP) in Clintwood, Virginia. Randy is from West Virginia, in fact he's from Summersville, my birthplace! All week, while replacing a roof of a trailer in 95-degree heat, Randy shared his stories about his mission trip to the orphanages and really encouraged me to get involved. Since seeing a documentary on television in 1989 about orphanages in Eastern Europe, I was haunted by the children’s faces and was determined to one day help in any way I could. Shortly after returning from ASP, Randy generously presented me with a way to become a part of this worthwhile endeavor so off I went to Russia for the first time in December 2001! I fell in love with the children and not only made a commitment to return every year, but also to get more people involved and to raise funds to help the orphans. Since 2003, I have helped 18 high school and college kids become Russia missionaries, many of whom have returned multiple times. The children at the orphanages love our visits and we have forged long-lasting relationships with many of them. The kids especially appreciate the gifts as well as the much-needed toiletries, knitted items and other essential supplies that we take over year after year. I have journeyed to Russia six times and will continue the good work of the Russian Orphanage Project as long as I am able.

Oftentimes God has plans for us that really take us by surprise. Last December, the director of Podolsk Orphanage suggested I adopt a then 11-year-old-girl who has been living at Podolsk since 2000. I thought it was a fantastic idea and my husband wholeheartedly agreed, so we will be the proud parents of Katya Grace Buoni by the end of September 2007, God willing. I thought I had been abundantly blessed by my work with the Russian Orphanage Project, but little did I know until now the true abundance of my blessings!

A day well spent

I attended an all day workshop entitled: It's All About YOU: Be The World Expert on Your Body, presented by Dr.'s Oz and Roizen. Dr. Oz is often featured on the Oprah show, and I'm a big fan. (No pun intended!) Dr. Oz received his undergraduate degree from Harvard University and obtained a joint MD and MBA from the University of Pennsylvania School of Medicine and Wharton Business School. Dr. Oz is professor and vice-chairman of surgery, Columbia University. He is medical director of the Integrated Medicine Center and director of the Heart Institute at New York Presbyterian/Columbia University Medical Center. Pretty bright guy! Dr. Oz brings body parts to his seminars so you can see "healthy" body parts and compare them to diseased body parts. He has a brain, aorta, testicles, omentum, prostate and a uterus with attached ovaries! He allows you to actually touch the organs, with gloves of course! We were fascinated, to say the least.
I love the fact that the seminar combined western medical philosophy with what some might call "new age" philosophy. Mind over matter, the healing power of your mind and spirit, etc. It all boiled down to common sense, eat right and EXERCISE, focus on the positive and be a good and decent person. Make a contribution, do the right thing, be kind. They delivered these common sense guidelines in such a way that it seemed fresh, fun and so easy. Easy may be a stretch, but it was a great day and I look forward to learning more from Dr. Oz. The day ended with a quiet time, a time to center yourself and think about what truly matters; to remember what should always be your primary focus:

Just for today, do not worry.
Just for today, do not anger.
Honor your parents, teachers, and elders.
Earn your living honestly.
Show gratitude to everything.

That says it all, doesn't it?

Photo: Katya - 2005

Everyday...we wait.

Fred walks in everyday and one of the first things he says is, "Did you hear from Dove today?" Dove is our adoption agency in Oregon. What I want to say is, "Don't you think I would have called you if I had news of a court date!" Reminds me of that cell phone ad on TV (the dropped call one) where the woman screams into the phone...."WE'RE PREGNANT!" I would call Fred at work and scream, "WE GOT A COURT DATE, WE ARE GOING BACK TO RUSSIA!!!!!!" Twelve to fifteen days after the court date we will be bringing our daughter home, so we are more than anxious. We were told there is a small chance of an August court date, so of course I'm counting on August!
Tomorrow marks two weeks that we've been home. That's two weeks closer to getting Katya, but it also means we haven't seen Katya in two weeks. Very hard. I pray she understands that it’s not our choice to stretch out the process this long. I pray that she has a clear understanding that we are working very hard to make the adoption happen as quickly as possible. When we started the adoption in January, we were told it would take approximately 12 to 15 months so according to that estimation we ARE making it happen quickly! I can't wait for the day when we can have a deep, lenghty conversation without a translator! I know I'll be patient when it comes to language skills, I just wish I could be as patient with our court date!
THINK AUGUST EVERYONE!!

Photo: Katya in her bedroom at the orphanage

It's official, I'm old!

It's official, I'm old! And I'm definitely not hip. This was confirmed tonight when I was watching an entertainment show while doing the dishes and they were talking about Lindsey Lohan. I can't even name one movie she's been in! Another mug shot featured on the show tonight was Mindy McCready. I've never heard of her! My friend emailed me today and talked about her teenage daughter being into Hannah Montana. Who? Katya told me her favorite singer was Fergie. The only Fergie I'm aware of was once married to Prince Andrew! I Googled Fergie when I came home from Russia and have posted the photo that was at the top of the Google list. I'm in trouble...
I'm starting to worry that Katya will think I'm an old fuddy-duddy! The kids in Russia definitely know who's popular in America. We tour the orphanages every year and see the posters hanging on their bedroom walls. It disturbs me deeply that I've seen many 50 Cent and Eminem posters. Why must they idolize those F-word, n-word spewing rappers? Why not Josh Groban or U-2? Oops, I'm showing my age again! I think I'll subscribe to People and Us Weekly so I can brush up on pop culture. I'm going to upload some Fergie songs on my iPod so I can sing along with Katya, providing the lyrics are G-rated. Figure the odds...

Fred and I are members of the non-profit organization Families of Russian and Ukrainian Adoptees or FRUA. Because of this affiliation and my seven years of involvement with the Russian Orphanage Project, I was asked to participate in a panel to present information about the state of human rights in Russian orphanages sponsored by US Representative Tom Lantos (12th District of California). I am more than happy to talk about the improvements I've seen in Russian orphanages in the last seven years. I would love everyone to know the orphanage directors and teachers do a superb job given the resources available to them. Their dedication to the children appears genuine and sincere, and the children seem healthy and happy. (As happy as an orphan in an institution can be.) Of course there is room for improvement, but I feel it is important to acknowledge the vast improvements I've witnessed since first traveling to Russia in 2001. For instance, at Podolsk Orphanage, Svetlana is in the process of buying new furniture for the children, and workers are painting and installing new floor coverings in the sleeping quarters and improving the canteen. Svetlana tells me it is difficult to recruit good teachers because of the low pay. Sound familiar? But, she has hired and kept many dedicated and loving teachers, one of whom actually takes children home with her to spend the night! I know there are human rights violations all over the world, but it is time to shine a positive light on the thousands of directors and teachers who are working hard for very little pay to improve the lives of the children who must live out the first 18 years of their lives in institutions.

Well, after I told them what I was going to say, they recanted their offer for me to sit on the panel.

Surprise, surprise.

People are so kind!

Gosh...there are angels everywhere! I mentioned in Sunday School that Katya wants to play the piano. Last night I was offered an almost new full size keyboard, stand and bench! I didn't want to invest a lot of money in a piano only to find out she really doesn't want to play the piano! Yesterday, a 12-year-old strawberry blonde angel on our street offered us her very nice gently-used bicycle for Katya! WOW! Just when I'm fuming over an insensitive comment from the lady at church, we receive these kind offers. It sure changed my perspective, and taught me a lesson not to dwell on the negative! So, thanks Bonnie and Morgan, for helping me remember what's important and what needs to just be ignored!

The best portion of a good man's life - his little, nameless, unremembered acts of kindness and love. ~William Wordsworth

Papa, Katya and Mama at the Kremlin

Time to vent!

It has been such a blessing to have the support and encouragement of our friends and family regarding the adoption of Katya. I did encounter someone at church today who said Fred and I were "nuts" to be adopting a child. I asked her why she thought we were nuts and she said we would be giving up our freedom, flexibility and our ability to go "where we want, when we want." First of all, this woman has no children, but she has a high-pressure career so I doubt she goes "where she wants, when she wants!" I've NEVER had that freedom, because I have two children (almost three!) a job...a husband...a dog...responsibilities... Secondly, she has no idea the absolute joy; happiness and love children bring to one's life! Sure its not all roses and sunshine, but the treasured times far outweigh the stressful times. Last, she should keep her opinions to herself! It just irritates the heck out of me when people think children rob you of your supposed freedom and flexibility, whatever the heck that means! Only one family member has expressed opposition to the adoption, and she is a 95-year-old great aunt who never married OR had children. Funny how the childless people feel so free to tell you what a mistake you are making. I say, if only they knew what they were missing!
I waited to post my blog after I calmed down, but I guess I didn't wait long enough! So, thanks to everyone for being so supportive, and if you agree with the lady at church, please don't tell me!

“A pessimist sees the difficulty in opportunity, and an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty. “
Winston Churchill

Nesting Instinct

I am trying to overcome a powerful nesting instinct that has completely overwhelmed me. The problem is I have no clothes to buy, no room to decorate, and no supplies to purchase. I showed Katya a photo of her new room, and told her we could redecorate in any style and color she chooses. She said she wanted her room exactly the way it is now. That only leaves me with the task of taking our winter clothes out of the closet and drawers and moving them to the basement. I told her we wanted to buy her new clothes, but she wants to wait until she’s here so she can buy “American clothes.” I’m somewhat relieved about the clothing purchases, because we took her shopping in Moscow and discovered her pants size is 152. I can’t find a conversion chart on the Internet that tells me what size that is in America. Russia seems to have their own sizing system, different than the European system. So, that leaves me with no creative outlet for my nesting instinct. Sure, I could go out and buy things I think she would like, but that seems like a waste of time and money, due to the fact I haven’t had a 12-year-old girl in 12 years, so I’m a little clueless about what 12-year-old girls want! So I’ll just wait…and wait…and wait…for the phone call telling us we have a court date in Moscow. There’s a small chance it could happen in August, but most likely we’ll be assigned a date in September.
Keep your fingers crossed for a court date in August, please!

Happy Birthday Katya!

Today is Katya's 12th birthday! Happy Birthday Katya! It breaks my heart that she isn't with us to celebrate, but I'm sure she will be celebrating with her friends and teachers at summer camp. Currently, she is at Camp Dream, located about 20 minutes from the orphanage. I went to Camp Dream a few years ago in the dead of winter to experience a Russian Banya. What an experience that was! Svetlana said it would rid our bodies of jet lag, and it did! I can't say I was eager to be beaten with eucalyptus leaves while sitting in a sauna, but it did "promote circulation". The cold plunge in the pool, after what seemed like an hour in the sauna, was refreshing and just what our tired bodies needed.
In a few weeks, Katya will be heading to the Black Sea for another summer camp experience. Katya loves swimming, whether it's in a swimming pool, lake, river or ocean. She told us she especially loves the ocean, so I see a lot of trips to the beach in our future. When we were together in Moscow last week, she wanted to swim in a swimming pool, but pools are a little hard to find in Moscow! We assured her there were a lot of swimming pools in America, so she could have her fill of swimming soon!
The photo above was taken last July at Podolsk Orphanage. She's grown so much in a year! Katya voiced much concern and unhappiness about her hair. She does not like her current hairstyle but the caregivers at Podolsk insist the kids keep their hair short. She asked me if she could have long hair and of course I said yes. She was overjoyed. I had to make a point of asking Svetlana not to cut her hair this summer! Katya told me she is "even more beautiful" with long hair! No self-esteem issues there!
Happy Birthday sweet Katya, you'll be home soon!

Svetlana and Katya

Here's a photo of Svetlana and our Katya, taken last week at Podolsk Orphanage

Svetlana - An angel here on Earth

Hi Village-

I want to introduce you to Svetlana, the wonderful director of Podolsk Orphanage in Podolsk, Russia. She is an angel, a miracle worker, and a selfless, dedicated woman who is "Mama" to 176 orphan children. All of her children call her Mama, and when you witness the warmth and affection between Svetlana and the children you understand why. The children can't walk past Svetlana without reaching out to her, and she responds with hugs and kisses they so desperately need. She's taken the limited resources she's been given and has created a warm, loving and nurturing environment for the children.
I am in awe of her creativity and tenacity. She treats her volunteers like family, so we cannot wait to return year after year to help out. She has made all her children a part of who we are and has welcomed us into the Podolsk family.
When we bring Katya home, we will be bringing a piece of Svetlana with us, because she's been Katya's Mama for the last seven years. Katya's been loved and well cared for at Podolsk, and for that Fred and I are eternally grateful.

Clarification....

Dear Village,

I just got off the phone with a concerned friend asking why we needed a psychiatrist or psychologist referral! No, Fred and I weren't losing our minds, we needed a psychiatric evaluation for our adoption dossier!

Love,
Sheila

We are so blessed that we have so many family members and friends who are genuinely interested in our adoption journey. Because of your keen interest, enthusiasm and caring, I have decided to copy my sister and create a blog! Thank you for your prayers, your words of encouragement and all the other ways you have supported us. It has been a long journey, fueled by our love of Katya and our overwhelming desire to bring her into our family.
It truly takes a village to adopt a child. When I sit here and think about all the favors we've asked of our friends and family, I am overwhelmed. First, there were the 10 letters of recommendation for our home study and dossier. I know how hard it was to paint us in the best possible light!! We truly appreciate your kind words. Second, there were the phone calls about possible connections you might have. "Hey, do you happen to know a psychologist or psychiatrist who is taking new patients?" I think we asked everyone we know! Luckily, we have a family member who rescued us in the 11th hour. THANKS!
There is our heroine, Leanne, a Marriott employee who gave us her friends and family discount that saved us $2,000 at the Moscow Marriott last week. How can we ever thank her enough? There are our wonderful children, who are making room in their hearts for another sibling. One of my biggest blessings is my sister, and I am so excited that Katie will have a sister as well. I pray they will have the same close relationship as Anne and I do. Steven endured trips to the INS for fingerprinting, and had to provide his life history for his Federal background check. I am grateful and so proud of you both. Also, there are my fellow Russia missionaries who have been there since the first moment at Podolsk Orphanage last December when the idea of adopting Katya was first voiced. Their overwhelming "YES" was all I needed to begin the journey. The second I got to a phone in Moscow and called Fred to ask him what he thought about adopting Katya, he said without a moments hesitation, "That's a great idea!"
I will try to post daily, keeping you up-to-date on our journey. Thanks again everyone, Fred and I are so grateful for our village!
Love, Sheila